Close To Giving Up

September 16, 2016

Should I give up on writing?

Will that make me happy?

But if I give up,

I’ll never see the day,

When my stories cheer someone up.

Why do I waste my time,

Creating these worlds full of people,

Only to abandon them afterwards?

My motivation is gone,

And I keep jumping,

Through story after story,

With no end in sight.

Why do I agonize,

Over little details,

And lose interest so quickly?

Has my writing improved at all?

If so, then why can’t I see it,

With my own eyes,

All of the time?

I’m a failure!

I’m so close to giving up,

Yet I can’t stop myself,

From trying to write again.

It just feels like torture,

But I can’t convince myself,

To stop and put down my pen,

For the sake of my sanity.

Will I ever find a way,

To break out of this dark hole,

That I’ve fallen into?

I don’t know,

If I truly am,

Worthy of being a writer…

I haven’t found my voice yet,

And it seems like I never will,

At this rate.

Once again,

I’m close to giving up.

Comments

  • Akaluv

    September 16, 2016 at 2:15 AM

    I didn’t want to like this post since it’s clear you are not doing well. Do you want to talk about it? I know the feeling of thinking you are a failed writer. However, you are not, and you shouldn’t feel that way about yourself.

    I know that’s strange coming from me, but it’s not fun to feel depressed 🙁 No one should feel the way I do.

    1. Aiyoku Nakasu

      September 16, 2016 at 12:52 PM

      I do want to talk about it, Aka. You’re right, being depressed isn’t fun.

      1. Akaluv

        September 16, 2016 at 12:55 PM

        Why are you feeling depressed about your writing? =(

        1. Aiyoku Nakasu

          September 16, 2016 at 1:00 PM

          Because I haven’t finished writing a novel in a long time and I keep relying on my friends and my boyfriend for ideas and stuff.

          1. Akaluv

            September 16, 2016 at 2:19 PM

            Finishing a novel takes time; don’t be hard on yourself. I’m hard on myself, too, but you have to think positive.

          2. Aiyoku Nakasu

            September 17, 2016 at 1:28 AM

            Okay, but I find it hard to think positively nowadays.

          3. Akaluv

            September 18, 2016 at 1:55 AM

            I’m sorry to read this. Writing isn’t easy, and it takes us through a lot of emotions. I’m still working through my own issues.

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